Design Your Work

Yes, I said it - new DECADE?? Wow, I can't believe that just a short ten years ago there was a big to-do about Y2K. There were people worried that the whole world would shut down - lights out everybody.

Well, here we are. Yes, some of us are actually hearing "lights out" but not for the same reason. Now we're doing the money dance and figuring out where our dollars should be spent vs. where we want to spend them. It's hard to believe the difference a decade can make. Perfect example - just this week, my eldest daughter played her soccer game against a team that was just a year younger than her team. Our girls looked like giants over the other team. I remember her being that small just last year. Time - where does it go?

Knowing that time is a hot commodity, it's so important to make the absolute most of what we have each day. I've decided in 2010, every moment will be precious. No more wasting time on nonsense. Here's my top 5 list of past time-wasters that I'm leaving behind:

1. Basement thinkers - 2009 taught me about this group when I taught a 6 week course from the book, Live Your Calling. The book refers to some as basement people, and others as elevator people. Basement thinkers can never see beyond what's right in front of them. No vision, no desire to move forward from the past. Remember, you become most like the 5 people you hang around most.
2. Fruitless distractions - I can get easily distracted with shiny things in the form of a new class, a hot new self-help book, social media (yes, I know - isn't a blog in this category?). But the key is to really measure out what results are coming from the investment I've made. If you put a lot into something and get nothing in return, it's a "fruitless" distraction. No more of that.
3. Water cooler talk - it's so easy to be sucked in at work. You remember this phrase becoming quite popular in the last ten years, don't you? We read People magazine, we watch talk shows, we read about celebrities on Facebook and Twitter. Isn't it interesting that we find so much pleasure in the demise of someone else? Or even in their celebrations? But what about our own. I don't want to be so busy in someone else's business that I can't take care of my own goals.
4. Money hemorrhages - I've suffered quite a bit of this to be honest. Not on "frivolous" purchases (or at least I didn't think so at the time), but on things that seemed like a great idea until the product made it home. Tip - think on any major purchase for at least 48 hours. You define what's "major" in your household. Again, see #2.
5. Finally, my last time-waster that has held me back in the past out of a false sense of compassion - drum roll please.....Nice Nuisances, I'll call them. These are people or projects that I felt guilty about letting go. I didn't want to be uncaring so I held on to an assistant whose work was not up to standard, I kept my mouth shut about a project because I didn't want to have someone else have to do it, etc. You know, these become time-wasters because you lose a whole lot of patience, time, and money when you don't make a decision and you hold onto something you should let go. Let it go in 2010! Say it with me.... LET IT GO

What has been your biggest time-waster in the last ten years? What could you have done much more quickly, what more could you have accomplished - had you not wasted the precious gift of your time?

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Tanya Smith, the Monday Makeover Coach, helps busy mid-career professional women liberate their thinking so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Visit her at home www.designyourwork.com for a free special report on 10 Reasons to Think Like an Entrepreneur at Work.

Waiting is such a hard thing to do...for me, that is. Maybe you're okay with standing in line for long hours, being on hold on the telephone, sitting in traffic when an accident is ahead of you.

It's never been a situation of rage for me, but I just don't enjoy it much.

The other day, though, I had an epiphany. I was sitting at the gateway from my house, kids in the back, music on. I'm always sure that if I leave just 2 minutes later than I need to, I'll be waiting there for awhile - because we have to turn left on a two lane, busy road in our suddenly overpopulated suburb.

Well, it came to me in the moments of sitting there that if I just jumped out in front of traffic, we'd probably have a serious crash. But if I also sat there and waited for all the traffic to pass me by, we'd be late and miss the school bell, which has its own consequences.

It would take just the right amount of patience, and the right timing to make the turn smoothly.

I then imagined that this is much like my life & my work right now. I've been waiting, right on the verge of something bigger - something better. I know it's coming. I'm even more clear than ever on my destination. But I'm on the edge of the road, and if I jump too quickly the timing may not be right. And if I move too slowly and let opportunities pass, same thing - different consequences.

So what do we do? While I sit, I pray and ask God for patience, peace, and proper timing. I ask that when I do make the turn, no one in my car (life) or someone else's car will be harmed. I ask that I make it to my destination on time and without anxiety, because I want to enjoy the ride there.

Coaching questions: What are you waiting for? How will you know the timing is right and what will you do to improve your "wait time" experience?

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Tanya Smith, the Monday Makeover Coach, helps busy mid-career professional women liberate their thinking so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Visit her at home www.designyourwork.com for a free special report on 10 Reasons to Think Like an Entrepreneur at Work.

My hope is that your Monday will be great & your week supercalifradulisticexpealidocious (do you remember that movie - Mary Poppins?) Well, we all know that we don't live in a Mary Poppins world, but I do encourage you to think of just 3 blessings you have been gifted to receive this month so far. It's not that hard, is it?

Write down your 3 Blessings and keep them in front of you this week. No matter what your situation, you have a gift. The world needs you to share it, but first you must acknowledge that it's yours to give.

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Tanya Smith, the Career Transformation Coach, helps super busy mid-career professional women liberate their thinking so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Visit her at home www.designyourwork.com for a free special report on 10 Reasons to Think Like an Entrepreneur at Work.

So often we are focused on all the negative things - what's going wrong in our lives right now, what the media says about the economy, swine flu, or whatever the latest perceived disaster is. What we don't often realize is that what we focus on EXPANDS.

Example - if I tell you NOT to think about a big, juicy hamburger with all the fixins': pickles, tomato, lettuce, cheese, on a sesame seed bun, what are you thinking about? Is the picture pretty vivid and clear?

That's exactly what happens when we think of how bad off our bills are, our work situation, our weight, or any number of things. Instead, we should focus on where we truly want to be - what is the ideal financial situation we want to achieve? What is your ideal weight?

Today I was taken to a particular passage in the Bible that really confirmed what I've been learning about Positive Psychology in a recent certification I'm pursuing. I'll share with you the scripture from The Message:

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. - Phillipians 4:8-9

I think that's a pretty awesome set of instructions on how we are to focus our thinking. Don't you?

Try this for the next week or so:
Ask yourself what 3 things happened each day for which you feel blessed and grateful. Then write about why they happened to you. Do this consistently, and you’ll discover a shift in the way you go through your day, and the things that you choose to expand.

Coaching question - what things can you focus on right now that you are most grateful for?

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Tanya Smith, the Career Transformation Coach, helps mid-career professional women liberate their thinking so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Visit her at home www.designyourwork.com for a free special report on 10 Reasons to Think Like an Entrepreneur at Work.

This post is dedicated to my recent lack of clear vision and the study I've been doing in the month of October.

I first started investigating this when at least 3 of my coaching clients said to me, "I don't know what my ideal life would look like. I've never thought about it." I started wondering about the saying that if you don't know where you're going you'll never get there.

So I've begun looking at scriptural references, self-help books, and even a program I'm writing for an upcoming hour workshop I'm doing for a group.

How ironic is it that last week I injured myself because of lack of vision. Here's what happened...I was minding my own business, carrying a big notebook in front of me and trying to read it while walking into my bedroom. All of a sudden I made contact with something that immediately crashed to the floor and fell onto both of my feet. It took a second for me to give out a huge, "Yelp!". Then I crashed to the floor myself.

I had run into the tower fan that we sometimes keep in our bedroom door (yes, for you inquisitive ones, our a/c needs balancing). It's not uncommon for this thing to sit right smack in the doorway with a Texas summer. I knew that. Why did I run into it?

I had something else blocking my vision, keeping me from seeing what was obviously there. Now I've written this down - sometimes we don't see the obvious because we have something else in the way, something we should have known was there but we're so caught up in what we're doing that we miss it.

Ok, let me tie this to something else. What about when you're so caught up in your work that you miss your little girl's pleas to take a break and go get ice cream, or you're so distracted by watching "my show" that you ignore your spouse's tears because he/she has had a horrible day.

My coaching question for you is - what is it that's got you so distracted right now, you can't see what's right in front of you?

It's hard for me to wear a shoe on my left foot because of the small scab I now have from the fan's impact. As I look down & notice the small scars, it reminds me that I need to make sure to tell my kids I love them when they wake up this morning.

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Tanya Smith, the Career Transformation Coach, helps mid-career professional women liberate themselves so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Need affordable coaching options and the opportunity for residual income by helping others experience coaching? Visit Tanya at http://mylifecompass.com/coachtanya for more details, or her home site at www.designyourwork.com.

We were on track for a good start yesterday morning. Usually, I feel a bit rushed and so do the kids because we all have such an early start.

The beds were made, the clothing ironed & put on without argument. Both kids had even brushed their teeth without me repeating it three times. I was putting last minute touches on the eldest's hair when she yelled out, "uh oh". I looked down and saw that her nose had begun to bleed...all over the white shirt and light blue jeans.

We had about 10 minutes to get out of the house on time and not be late for school.

At first, I panicked and went into hyper mode - you know where you're running around and yelling at everybody barking orders, but no one really knows what you're even saying? Okay, maybe that's just me.

So I was in the "zone" when all of a sudden I realized, "wait, what's the worst that can happen?" (one of my favorite coaching questions). The worst was that we'd be a few minutes behind that morning. I'd go in and explain to the school nurse what happened and maybe they'd still mark her late, but no one was dying, I wasn't losing any money. It was just a nosebleed and we'd have to wait until it got good and ready to stop.

We could put pressure in place, have her hold her head back (or forward, depending on who you talk to), but in the end we didn't control it.

Here's the point - how often do we have situations that are flowing along just fine, when all of a sudden there's a glitch in the program? How do you react? Do you recognize what you can control and those things that you cannot? Have you tried to slow down and assess the absolute worst and best case scenario?

Examples: been in a job for 15 years when a layoff occurs, in a relationship when you find out something about the other person you never suspected, on the way to church when a car accident happens in front of you.

I'm learning to assess my "life nosebleeds" more often and it sure makes life a whole lot easier to live daily. With practice, maybe I can even eliminate the hyper zone altogether.

Blessings, Tanya

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Tanya Smith, the Career Transformation Coach, helps mid-career professional women liberate themselves so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Need affordable coaching options and the opportunity for residual income by helping others experience coaching? Visit Tanya at http://mylifecompass.com/coachtanya for more details, or her home site at www.designyourwork.com.

Have you ever had one of those weeks that just wore you out? Yes? Me too.

I can't even explain where all the time went or what I accomplished right now. I just know I'm tired. This afternoon, I was driving and kicking myself, thinking about a project that I knew I wanted to finish, but yet again - hadn't finished.

I didn't realize that I didn't have any music or noise on in the car until about 5 minutes into driving. The quiet was almost deafening to my ears. It was amazing that there really was no sound other than the hum of my car, and guess what?? I loved it. In fact, I took the whole trip without turning on any noise. No distractions for me; just quiet time.

Later this evening, I had the kiddos with me. We were quietly heading home again - no DVD, no Disney music. I'm in the center lane of a 3 lane, busy road in rush hour traffic when I hear instinctually, "look at what's happening". There was a car sitting in the middle of the center lane at a dead stop with no one in it. Apparently, it had stalled and the driver left it sitting there in major traffic. I started blowing on my horn loudly to alert the guy behind me in case he was texting, or something crazy. I slowed down just in time not to hit the still car & the car behind me stopped...barely.

I can honestly say that if I had all the distractions I normally experience in my car, I would never have reacted to this situation in time.

Whether it's for your own peace of mind, or to help you really get focused and alert, quiet time is an amazing gift. So here's my coaching question - What time do you spare in your life right now to eliminate all distractions? What steps can you take within the next 48 hours to make room to hear the "still, small voice"?

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Tanya Smith, the Career Transformation Coach, helps mid-career professional women liberate themselves so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Sign up for her monthly updates & more articles through http://www.designyourwork.com and become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Need affordable coaching options and the opportunity for residual income by helping others experience coaching? Visit Tanya at http://mylifecompass.com/coachtanya for more details about a phenomenal opportunity with Compass.

Most of my readers know by now that I am a learner. I think you can see it in the posts I write - I can learn from just about any & every person. Well, last week I was a little stumped...and then I figured something out - how to learn from what not to do! I guess I'll call it "learning in reverse".

I had a speaking engagement this week so I enjoy watching other speakers present. It helps me take away tips on how to make my presentations better each time. As I watched a speaker at an organizational event last week, I tried my best to pay attention but she lost me in about the first 30 seconds (that's all it takes most times for you to make an impression).

The presenter's voice was shaky, which indicated either fear, nervousness or lack of confidence in her content. She wore a see-through shirt under her business jacket. She admitted publicly that she had no idea of what the professionals in the audience did, although she was speaking as an expert on a topic that had to do with their work.

Sigh.

I felt very sorry for her for awhile. Then I used the time as an opportunity to make a list. I'll call it - how to give an awesome presentation. I'll share just a few of the things I learned (in reverse):

1. Speak confidently about your product/service; no one knows how bad or good they are until you let them experience it. Your job is to make what you sell as attractive as possible;
   
2. Have a great opener for your speech;
3. Capture the audience's attention early and get to the main point; use the rest of the time to reinforce it;
4. Work on your vocals (I took a class about a year ago just to focus on speech patterns & improving my sound);
5. Include stories, examples, analogies to help people understand technical points you're trying to make;
6. If you're going to walk around or move your arms/hands, do it with purpose; otherwise, it can be distracting

Ok, so you get the point. These were the opposite of all the things I saw the presenter do. I turned them around into a more positive list that I could really sink my teeth into and learn from.

Coaching question for you?: "What negative behavior(s) have you observed recently that you can turn around & learn from in reverse?"

This one is fun. Try it and see what you get out of it - I bet you will observe someone else's negative behavior at work, home, or church at least once in the next week. I'd love to hear your comments!

Oh, and keep in mind, it's not about degrading the other person; it's about learning from them. If you have a relationship with the person & can communicate with influence and constructive feedback, be compassionate and authentic. It may help them learn to do better next time.

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Tanya Smith, the Career Transformation Coach, helps mid-career professional women liberate themselves so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Sign up for her monthly updates & more articles through http://www.designyourwork.com and become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach. Keep up with Tanya on twitter at http://twitter.com/coachtanya.

I watched an interesting, yet common, phenomenon today. I attended a networking event where the speaker was a well-known business strategist & speaker. He had a great message - one that touched every person in the room whether they owned a business, or worked for someone else. It was clear that he knew what he was talking about. He put his heart & soul into giving to every person in the room. I felt a little smarter when he was done - that's a good sign.

Afterwards he had a table set up in the back with products and order forms, like most speakers do these days. He referenced a discount that would be extended for all attendees of the day's event - probably around 30%, if I remember correctly.

That wasn't the important thing though.

You see, the actual leader of this particular networking group is a firm believer that members should all sow into the lives of the visitors/guest speakers who come to share their time & value with us. So she reminded the group that we "don't do discounts", we pay full price for speakers' products - just as we'd want someone to do for us and our businesses.

I had to leave a little early, while the raffles & prizes were being given away. There was a small group of attendees at the product table. As I stepped towards the table to select my purchase, I overheard a member say, "What was that discount again? Lord knows I need that right now the way my business is running in this economy." At first, I nodded my head as if to agree, but then I remembered the reminder we'd just heard from the leader and my thought turned to, "What if it were me? Wouldn't I hope that people would pay full value for my hard work? Don't I provide quality that warrants the price I offer?"

Later on I thought about this statement from the member and it hit me - the reason why she was not successful is that she was reaping what she sowed. Instead of sowing full value into the other person's business, she tapped into scarcity mentality "I have nothing so I'll give nothing". Instead, she should have said, "I will seed into this business, so that my business too will grow."

If you think about it, this happens all the time. The last time you barely made your monthly bills, consider what you tithed or gave to charity. When you yelled at your child for making bad grades, think about how much time you spent helping them with homework. You didn't get the job interview; what did you do beforehand to really understand the job, or even to prepare your branding statement for the conversation?

My coaching question then is: "What are you sowing that's causing you to get the results you're currently experiencing?"

You might have to read this one twice. Next time you reap less than desired results, consider what you sow.

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Tanya Smith, the Career Transformation Coach, helps mid-career professional women liberate themselves so they can enjoy waking up daily to work they love. Sign up for her monthly updates & more articles through http://www.designyourwork.com and become a fan for exclusive previews on Facebook at http://facebook.com/workcoach.